God desires us to be honest. God has paved for us an accessible path so that we might follow Christ with our whole heart, mind and spirit.
For us to be effective in Christian service we should be fully integrated people. All aspects of our personality should be open and subject to the authority of God. When we hide a secret, or live a double life, we close off the power of God to move within us, which greatly cripples our ability to follow God. Confessing our sins, shortcomings, and struggles to God and to each other is important if we are to pursue a grace-filled, abundant life. In the book, Speaking the Truth in Love – How to be an Assertive Christian, by Ruth Koch and Kenneth Haugk, the authors state:
“Of course the fully integrated personality is the ideal. Human beings are all less than fully integrated. In fact, one of the life tasks for everyone is to move in the direction of more fully integrating all the separate components of his or her personality… What was whole at creation was broken and fragmented by sin, and Jesus has come personally into history and into individual lives to restore wholeness…God is willing to supply, through the power of the Holy Spirit, the wholeness that you need.”
Confessing struggles, weaknesses and failings, and pursuing self-acceptance is critical to becoming a fully integrated person.
Baby and Bath Water
You’ve heard it said, “Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water!” We were created as we are for the purpose of glorifying God. Just because we desire to change, it does not automatically follow that change should occur, or is even healthy for us. Those personality traits or quirks that we consider to be weaknesses are a necessary part of what we would consider our personality strengths. It is difficult to stuff into our emotional closets one specific “undesirable” aspect of our personalities. Unfortunately, those who try to do so often end up shutting down completely. We may be able to, for a time, squelch certain undesirable actions or expressions. However frustration will usually result because we have no healthy outlet to express that part of our authentic selves. Real psychological needs must have some form of release for us to be psychologically and physically healthy.
Without the comfort and encouragement of others, we can end up trapped in a bitter cycle of indulgence, stifling guilt, repentance, frustration and back to indulgence. We continue in this cycle because the underlying personality issues and needs are never addressed. No matter what we try, our true basic personality remains unaltered.
If we view our weaknesses only stumbling blocks to spiritual growth, we won’t honestly deal with those weaknesses but instead we’ll stuff them into the back of our closets. Ignoring an issue denies us the opportunity to deal with that issue honestly. However, our weaknesses if confronted, can lead to realistic self-evaluation, Godly understanding, and positive growth. Our weaknesses can draw us closer to others in our faith communities for mutual support. This process will help us draw closer to God and the divine within us.
Sometimes our weaknesses and struggles are there for a reason. As Paul wrote to the Corinthian church:
“To keep me from becoming conceited…there was given me a thorn in my flesh…Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. (2 Corinthians 12:7-9)
We need to rely on the grace God provides. This grace allows us to express ourselves and discover who we are without the threat of a broken relationship with our Creator. The pursuit of an integrated life allows us to develop real relationships that include our whole being.
Jesus went to the cross, not to appease God, but to demonstrate how far God will go to connect with us in a way we will understand.
Avoiding Cultural Judgments and Pursuing God’s Righteousness
The righteousness of man should never be confused with the righteousness of God. Unfortunately our understanding of God and scripture is filtered through our personal experiences. As a result, we usually make judgments of others based on our cultural comfort zone. As Christians, we have the duty and honor to speak and act on behalf of God. So, when we have the opportunity to show Christ to others, we should avoid applying our own righteous standards to that person. Our judgment of others, in effect, minimizes the righteousness of God, lowering God to our level. It is not our place to judge another person’s standing before God, but with humility we are called to serve one another in faith and love.
Romans 10: 1, 3-13 discusses pitfalls concerning culturally-driven standards of righteousness, and the temptation to pass judgment on another’s eternal standing:
“…For not knowing about God’s righteousness and seeking to establish their own, they did not subject themselves to the righteousness of God. For Christ is the end of the law of righteousness to everyone who believes. For Moses writes that the man who practices the righteousness which is based on law shall live by that righteousness.” (This man is living by his own standard and not God’s standard.)
“But the righteousness based on faith speaks as follows: “DO NOT SAY IN YOUR HEART, ‘WHO WILL ASCEND INTO HEAVEN?’ (that is, to bring Christ down), or ‘WHO WILL DESCEND INTO THE ABYSS?’.” (that is, to bring Christ up from the dead)But what does it say? “THE WORD IS NEAR YOU, IN YOUR MOUTH AND IN YOUR HEART” – that is, the word of faith which we are preaching, that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation.
For the Scripture says, “WHOEVER BELIEVES IN HIM WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED.” “For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, abounding in riches for all who call on Him…”
The world too often bears witness to the hypocrisy of a church that defines certain actions as sins, yet practices and excuses their own shortcomings. Some “sins” are allowed within the Church walls and freely discussed, while other “sins” are never mentioned. It is apparent that the church often operates under a hierarchy of sin.
The sins or actions we are able to understand, and tolerate in others, are those we share in common with them. If we share in a struggle then we are more sympathetic to that struggle. If we do not share in someone’s struggle we will have no understanding of what they are going through and little tolerance for that person. The church should be the one place where diversity should be expressed and we are accepted as we are.
Christ set us free from the power of sin. This statement is often mistaken as a call to “clean-up” our act. The power that sin has over us is not in the doing of the sin. The real power of sin comes from shifting our focus off of grace and onto a legalistic obsession over what is or isn’t sin. If we obsess over legalism then “sin” has set our agenda, not grace. Fear of negative consequences can preoccupy our thoughts and drive our agendas. If our lives are controlled by a list of “don’ts” (don’t do this, or that), then we are not enjoying the freedom from sin that Christ offers. Freedom from sin inspires us to pursue those callings God has put on our hearts. A renewed life is not one controlled by a laundry list of don’ts. Prayer and the pursuit of God become the focus when we stop obsessing over self-justification.
1 Corinthians 15:56-57 helps us understand that the power sin has over us is only understood through the law.
“The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”
Our victory in Christ allows us to make realistic self-assessments, and embrace our freedom found in forgiveness. Romans 3:20 makes this bold statement:
Therefore no one will be declared righteous in God’s sight by the works of the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of our sin.”
Our freedom in Christ comes when we admit our shortcomings without condemning ourselves. The law is a tool to refine us rather than define us. Take your focus off what your consider to be sin, and instead practice the grace-filled fruits of the spirit: peace, patience, kindness, joy, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, and, most importantly, love. This leads to a peace and purpose that will resonate in your divine nature.